Some women make being single sounds so lonely. And other women make being single sound like some sort of hoe retreat. And if you’re single for too long, some men will make you feel like there’s something’s wrong with you. It’s hard to believe that someone as attractive or with such a great personality as you could be single. There must be something wrong with you. And don’t get me wrong in rare cases, there may be. But what if there isn’t anything wrong with you? What if you’re okay with the standards you’ve set? Some women simply just know what they want out of a relationship or choose to date for the hopes of marriage rather than for the moment. There’s nothing wrong with that! But your friends and family may make you feel bad for this, bad for not lowering your standards. You’re getting closer to 30 and you start to see all of you’re friends boo’d up or getting married. This can be discouraging, but you shouldn’t let it get you down and I’m going to tell you why.

I’m no relationship coach or therapist but from experience and research, I feel like the biggest problem with young independent yet unhappy single women is that we feel like we have no choice but to be single. We don’t even realize that we are literally choosing to be single. We could lower our standards and get a guy tomorrow. But the thought of risking our happiness to be continuously disappointed doesn’t sit well with our mindsets.

We’ve already dated for fun and now we want the real thing. But unfortunately ‘nothing worth having comes easy’. So while this journey may take some time. There are some things you can remember to make it less daunting.

1. You won’t have to deal with as many heartbreaks.

While suffering from a broken heart may be inevitable at times. When you know what you want. It makes it kind of hard to settle for anything less. You notice all of the red flags, you wouldn’t have noticed before.

2. When You Meet the One, You’ll Know he’s the one.

Okay, so there’s a lot more too making a relationship work than thinking he’s the one. But women in our situation know this already. For us, meeting the one will be more about the function of the relationship rather than just about how you feel.

3. You’re the Queen of Self Love

We love ourselves so much that we rather be single than settle for less. We’re in a constant state of introspection and retrospection. So we know what we need to be happy in a relationship.

4. You get to be Yourself. Less Pressure

After spending some time with yourself. You’ll be uncomfortable pretending to be anyone else. This allows you and your partner to accept each other for who you really are from the beginning of the relationship.

5. When you do meet the one, You’ll Be Ready.

Most women in this predicament learned a lot from their past relationships, which led them to choose to be single until they do find their perfect match. Odds are, those relationships were only meant for practice anyways. You’ll be much more prepared now.

6. You get to choose how you want to be Single.

There’s no guide to being single. You get to choose how you spend this time. Continue to get to know yourself! Maybe you want to try celibacy. Maybe you want to have casual sex. Or maybe you just want to focus on yourself, setting new goals. Either way, you’re preparing yourself for the relationship you ultimately desire. And you’re going to get everything you deserve. That’s Exciting!